Eyewitness: Hustling…for votes

The content originally appeared on: INews Guyana

Yesterday, your Eyewitness wrote about the PPP going flat out in campaign mode. Surely, he thought, they couldn’t be here, there and everywhere like the Scarlet Pimpernell saving folks in distress – or like Santa Claus handing out goodies – unless they were harvesting votes. They even outdid the pleasantly plump fella in red by asking whether the folks had been good!!! Even with ordinary gladhanders, there’s gotta be a catch!! And that’s it, aint it?? A catch!!!

Take the Pressie’s trip to the southernmost part of our massive country – compared to those make-believe ones in the Caribbean, of course!! – Rupununi, or Region 9. He touched down in the evening, and not only gave out 600 grants of $1,000,000 each to build houses for identified houselot awardees – but guaranteed them Bank mortgages for the remaining $2,000,000!!! It was like what they called NINJA loans in the States back before the great crash of 2008 – no incomes, no jobs, no assets – needed!! Now, learning from the experience of the aforementioned crash, Pressie and his Govt had to’ve backstopped such generous terms!!

But he didn’t stop there!! He gave the good people of the Rupununi a sample of a coastal rural “sport” by whipping up several huge karahis of beef curry, goat curry, and who knows what else?? Local game “watrash” curry? All to accompany a massive pot of cook-up!! It was a sight to behold, as the “sport” went far into the night – as these things tend to do!! How does the Opposition top that??

Back in the day, our local soul superstar Johnny Braff had belted out an all-Caribbean hit – “Anything he can do, I can do better!!” Was Norton – who’s old enough to remember the braggadocio- inflected words – gonna do a Braff?? Well, he also went down south – to Mahdia in Region 8: Potaro-Siparuni. Mahdia, of course, had been converted into a town in 2018 by the PNC coalition. Was Norton going there to gloat to the residents about all the development that designation had precipitated??

Sadly, however, all the PNC had done was to erect (yes, that’s right, ERECT!) a twelve-foot, 18-ton rock-shaped PENIS in the centre of the new town!! Locals are still trying to figure out what it symbolises?? Their virility being a fronter town for gold and diamond mining?? But isn’t that kinda sexist in this day and age?? The PNC had their very own Simona Broomes, who showed the nation that gold mining wasn’t just a man’s world!!Over the border, in Boa Vista, the Brazilians had erected a statue “O Garimpeiro (The Prospector)” to acknowledge the role played by those whom we call “pork-knockers” in founding the settlement.

But sadly, Norton didn’t even hand out some NUTS – to complement the monument!!)

…for a new list

Finally, your Eyewitness saw where the Opposition’s coming from on the “New Voters List” business. They should’ve said they’re looking for a new National Register of Registrants (NRR) – from which the voters’ list is extracted. As such, there is no possibility of unconstitutionally “taking off voters” from the NRR!! As per GECOM, this occurred in 2008!!“The imperative to conduct the 2008 house-to-house registration exercise was born out of the need for the creation of an indisputable National Register of Registrants (NRR), which could be used as the basis for the preparation of Electoral Lists that would be commonly acceptable by all stakeholders as being unblemished. With this in mind, the Government of Guyana, Guyana Elections Commission (GECOM) and the Parliamentary political parties agreed, on June 14, 2007, to the preparation of a new NRR by house-to-house registration.”

So why doesn’t the Opposition ask the Government to agree to a new NRR being compiled?? All it’ll take is some money – which we have.And (possibly) a handshake!?!

…for security breaches??

Over in the US, seems that Trump walked out with some top-secret documents. Over here, seems the Ministry of Citizenship (Felix?) might’ve handed out some citizens’ confidential info to the PNC??